Vulture Jokes

Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture: "Does this taste funny to you?"

A vulture walks onto an airplane. The stewardess says, "Would you like me to put your suitcase in the luggage compartment for you, sir?" The vulture says, "No thanks. It's carrion."

Q) What did one vulture say to the other vulture?
A) I've got a bone to pick with you !

Q) "Why do you have a vulture in your birdcage ?"
A) "As a warning to my cat. Last week he ate my parakeet."

Q) Why did the vulture land in the road?
A) Cause the chicken didn't make it.
Q) How long does it take for him to eat the chicken ?
A) Depends on the traffic

A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to Communist Hell.

Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking bored. "What's it like in there?" asked Dave. "Well," he replied , "In Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."

"That's terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I'm going to check out Communist Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven times before receding off into the horizon. Dave pushed his way through to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people in. Dave asked Karl what Communist Hell was like.

"In Communist Hell," said Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let vultures tear out your liver, and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."

"But ... but that's the same as Capitalist Hell!" protested Dave.

"True," sighed Marx, "but sometimes we don't have oil, sometimes we don't have knives ..."

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